It seems to me that the whole system is seriously flawed.? When judges order payments for child support and /or alimony that leaves the payer unable to afford a place to live is senseless.? I have seen a friend of mine (excellent father) become homeless because he gave all his pay to child support - and still didn't get to see his children very often.? I have 2 women friends in child custody fights - one is a teacher that must pay a large amount of money to her husband for child support and alimony because he doesn't work, the judge ordered that he was accustomed to not working.? He periodically tries to get full custody - right now it is 50/50.? She often goes into high debt for attorneys and has already claimed bankruptcy. ? (He is a musician and works under the table.? She cannot afford a PI to prove it.)? He is able to take their daughter out to dinner, buy her new clothes, and take her on trips (with her money) while her mother must work harder to buy baloney sandwiches or whatever else is cheap just to put food on the table.
Another friend is in a custody fight because she doesn't work.? The judge ordered that she should work!? She has proven abuse from the husband and child services even got involved when he threatened to kidnap her and take her out of the country - but that didn't sway the judge any.? In this case, he was found to be living a double life, he even owned a business that she didn't know about it!? (This was even proven in court, in California where the laws are supposed to be 50/50 ownership!)? The judge knew this and still will barely give her any money for support or alimony.? The husband ties her up in court and she cannot afford attorneys to fight so she relies on public defense which seems to be no help.?
There seems to be no common sense, no standards, no thoughts or concern for the child.? I believe it is important for the child to see that both mother and father are able to survive and support themselves.? In the above scenarios, even though the spouses work hard to pay what they are supposed to, the child sees this parent as a "loser" or "deadbeat" because the other can afford to live in a nice place, to do things, to buy clothes - regardless of the fact that the "poor" spouse is paying for these niceties.? I am not divorced - but these people are friends and it seems too often that the rulings are unreasonable and lopsided.? It really makes me mad that our judicial system leaves power of all of these people's lives in the hands of judges that may have legal experience behind them, but no sense.? Just my observations.
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